THE BLOG

21
Jun

Blenheim Park CC v North Hinksey Gentlemen CC

In honour of the opposition and our new kit sponsor, this week’s match report is in Welsh.

BPCC v North Hinksey Gentlemen

Nyw Cymru spwnswrs, a vys cwptn ddangoswyd stuck in traffic. Ond daw Cymru’n i Lee ddeall slog a fw then throw hws wkyt awy. Daffyd A-S ddadl hylfcwntury a’r safbwyntiau hwge six over mwdwyket.

Inni Hughes heddiw plumb in front aw dwck, yn cynnig casgliad uwmpr George ‘y blynd wynker’. Oedd yn awgrym chwerthinllyd Coxy ynd Daffyd A-S rwp un pwllage bwling tw all pwrts.

Fugwlatgar mewn Daffyd Dwbl-Bwrrl perthynas the final ovwr, Cwntury!
Ffug gwestiwn Coxy, hwf cwntry!
Scwr 228-5 ov 30 ovwrs.

Ni allaf ond twy bread of heaven am no bleddy smarties agwn!

Flwpnwn Shirley Bassey i â so chuffing hwt! Buwt nw excws chwrman bluw shwrts look you!

Cwcky bwrber opwn vrsws brythr, slog a fw then throw hws wkyt away, cwt bei brythr! Slwgs, drwp cthchs, skwpr dwnky drwps – stwmp bei hwf the pych, nwt owt! Shwts n gwggles, hwge fun, ran out easwy wynnrs.

21
Jun

Blenheim Park CC v Juveniles CC – 11th June 2017

Blenheim unable to control Juveniles

After near farcical “Rollergate” incident whereby President Shaw managed to stall the Roller in the middle of the wicket with 10 minutes before scheduled 1pm start. At least 11 suggestions as to how the issue may be resolved (including lets all push it!)

Eventually the posh Range Rover was despatched to get some jump leads – Roller was eventually restarted at 1.50pm – The games was thus reduced to 30 overs as the Juveniles needed to get to bed early. It was a tossup which bellowed out the most fumes the roller or chairman Shaw.

Things started really quite well . Will Cox with and awesome spell (6/0/4/13 ) aided and abetted by the dependable Nigel Walker(1/30) at 6/2 and 44/6 thoughts of early tea and a long session in the pub appeared a certainty .

Unfortunately with a limit of 6 overs per bowler meant an early change. Cue Stan the Man taking their main man (captain) first ball with a sucker half tracker holed out to Walker in the deep – After that things changed dramatically with Stan and David AS conceding 40 runs in their four overs It became apparent the cunning Juveniles had reversed the bl££dy batting order Captain Cox and Leekies were 4/5 th change Leekies seemed to think they couldn’t hit a half volley on the leg side …… they could ! Coxy prized one of them out and late call up JV-F came on for the last over to take a wicket with his second ball – How they they ended on an unlikely 143only the scorebook will reveal

Tea was taken – including excellent home made flapjack/brownies (Mike) and sponge cake(Mrs K) was well received by all Father and son Cox combination opened the innings and with a generous smattering of extras the Cox combo moved the score over 40 after 7 overs . A run out debacle saw both Cox’s at the same end Martin pulled rank (poss pocket money) and Will had to walk (shoulders slumped back to the pavilion. Leakies looked his normal belligerent self but was undone by the first change (Luke) left arm over and missed a full toss that went on to hit his leg stump Coxy was next to perish and suddenly at 50/3 things were beginning to wobble.David A-S (4) struggled and Johnny Vaughen–Fowler inspite of not having batted since last June managed to get bat on ball and scored a quick 13. BPCC were falling behind the rate Phil Humphries perished and Kerr lasted about as long as one of Mrs May’s manifesto pledges – Stan and the Professor Phil (16)(now with runner) put on a good partnership with Stan despatching the ball to the boundary twice in one over , the innings closed as Walker(2) and Engel (0) Unsurprisingly Kerr let no byes through and was exemplary behind the stumps.

It was a game we felt we should have won but we came second, all played in a good spirit and so retired to the pub earlier than usual to discuss what might have been .

Spelling, grammar and factual errors courtesy of Rob Kerr.

05
Jun

Medmenham Village CC v Blenheim Park CC – 4th June 2017

A nice ground, nice pavillion, nice wicket, nice tea, nice opposition, nice cheap beer, nice drive from London. So why did we have to play like shit?

This was the worst performance from BPCC in ages, although a casual perusal of the score-book might lead you to believe that it was a competitive fixture. In fact it was so bad, Malcolm was left in the changing room after the game with a bottle of whisky and a loaded revolver in the hope that he would, for once, do the decent thing.

We won the toss and batted. At Matt Rogers’ insistence, we played a timed game. David Atcherley-Symes bagged a second ball duck, but somehow this was far from being his low point of the day. Lee Keyes then tried to alternately hit the ball out of ground and hit the ball high into the air to land eight feet from where it was struck. Both of these he accomplished with some regularity. Martin tried to keep pace with Lee. Reader, he failed.

Then, of course, Lee got himself out like the prat that he is, and Martin entered “going into his shell” mode. This lasted months. Malcolm came, went, and was last heard of departing for Morocco. David Hughes tried to match Martin lack-of-stroke for lack-of-stroke, and basically succeeded. Medmenham were forced to conjure up some declaration bowling, which lent a veneer of heft to the Cox and Hughes partnership it scarcely deserved. BPCC declared at tea on 173-4 off 43 overs (Cox 88*). There is no truth to the rumour that Malcolm would have instantly declared had Martin looked like reaching three figures.

So far, so average.

Bowling every week on the helpful slope of the South Lawn seems to have engendered a measure of complacency among the BPCC bowlers. Faced with a flat, dull wicket they toiled ineffectually against moderate opposition openers. Nigel exerted some measure of control, but his resolve was understandably tested by bowling a million overs unchanged, then being asked to field deep square leg at both ends. Fielders retreated to unusual positions, sometimes after being asked to go there. Specialist midwicket Matt contrived to push himself even lower down the selection order by dropping two off the captain’s thirty-yard-runup-donkey-drops. Will fielded a ball cleanly on the boundary and then wanged the ball into the tree for a five. David A-S, attempting not to do the same, did something completely indescribable. Lee, predictably, dropped one behind. Even your specialist treasurer-at-slip, condemned to square- and fine-leg by dint of there being some even older and more unfit players, managed to drop a fiendishly spinning dolly, and then took one hard on the ankle for good measure.

The openers put on about one-fifty. We were well and truly gubbed.

This match report was written in excessive pain. I hope it shows.

29
May

BPCC v Wootton – Sunday 28th May 2017

There were new opponents for Blenheim Park CC yesterday, but Wootton didn’t have far to come to make their debut on the South Lawn.

Malcolm won the toss, sensibly opted to bat, and Stoddart and (colonial debutant) Vasu Shah took the attack to the Wootton bowlers from the off, punishing anything wayward. Stoddart hit nine fours and two sixes while bludgeoning 61 in an opening stand of 113, and Shah contributed 63 sweetly-timed runs before an impatient Umpire Spearman sent him on his way marginally before the ball hit his pad, and well before anyone appealed.

But it wouldn’t be a Blenheim innings without a middle-order collapse, and a promising 113-0 became an unsatisfactory 178-7, until Cox jr (34*) and West jr showed their elders, betters and (most importantly) fathers exactly how to bat, guiding the home team to 214-7 off their allotted overs.

Wootton’s reply could hardly have started any worse, as Walker sent back nos 2, 3 & 4, all for ducks, with the team score still in single figures, but the portly opener and the porkpie-hatted number five showed some life and flair with a fifty partnership. Then gently they subsided; Will trapped porkpie with a floaty full-toss, Nigel took a stunning overhead catch, and Raj induced somebody to demolish his own stumps, as BPCC eased to a comfortable 101 run win.

Oh yeah, and Phil took a hat-trick.

El Treasurino

22
May

BPCC v Bodleian Library – Sunday 21st May 2017

Bodleian Library Silenced by Stoddart

On a gloriously sunny day at Blenheim , the mower refused to start leaving the wicket somewhat green. Walker was licking his lips at the prospect of bowling at his erstwhile teammates. Coxy(0) got one that moved a foot and bowled him middlepeg but that was to be Walkers only scalp  Newboy David Acheley-Symes (about time we had a smattering of double barrelled names) took some time to adjust to his new found palatial surroundings, James Stoddart looked assured from the start and was soon ticking the score along  reaching his 50  with apparent consummate ease (65/1) David A-S realised he was somewhat behind his partner in scoring rate and promptly hit 26 off an over! Stoddart was eventually bowled (82) and West who had been padded up for 25 overs lasted  an over (6)and was soon back on back on “his” bench he had so recently vacated.

With only 8 overs to go David A-S succumbed  (57) and a flurry of activity saw  Allan Engel hole out in the deep(0) exhausted after running a quick two in the previous over. Debutant Phil Reay (2) looked in control until he raised his bat for the “perfect leave” only for the ball to clatter his stumps and Richard Evans  used his tennis skills to smack a six straight over the bowlers head   but holed later in the over (11) Jake Spearman (1) looked to have plenty of class strokes but was unluckily run out  Kerr (8) with a few balls left hit two fours but was caught leaving Stan(n.o 0) and Spearman Senior (n.o.1) to close the innings on 176/9   (Walker 8o/4m/1w/17r)

Tea was taken  Splendid spread with home made cakes chocolate brownies and Battenberg cake (so much we took some home Lee!)

With no fast bowlers in the team Captain West  opened with Spearman/ Cox M .  Spearmint opened with a maiden and had his man first ball of his next over – and Coxy pushed one down the leg side only for the No.3 to clip it with is pad and bowled him middlepeg! Bodleian were 21/2 after 10 overs  West brought himself on as first change with Stan at the other end  Westy picked up a wicket in his 2nd over and already looking at his averages took himself off . BPCC outfielding was outstanding with catches held and some excellent work in the deep especially from Jake Spearman –Champagne moment was Stan’s stop pick up and sharp return in one movement that was reminiscent of his early dancefloor days.Phil the professor made the squareleg/midwicket area his own all afternoon and affected a good run out but replays showed their number5 was was even slower than Engel !  Gradually the Bodleian were falling behind the rate and Stoddart who bowled his allocated 8 overs on the bounce was eventually rewarded with a wicket in his penultimate and a wicket maiden in last  The Library had gone quiet  Their No2 (54) was eventually undone by the dark destroyer Stan by a well taken catch by Cox (who took more catches (1) and more wickets(1) than he scored runs!) Spearman came back to clean up with two more wickets (8/1/11/3) the denouement  trapping Walker middlepeg             Kerr (unsurprisingly) kept a clean sheet with no byes inspite of some wayward legside bowling.

We all retired to our new home “The Woodstock Arms” where we reflected on a great team winning effort played in gentlemanly fashion in the perfect backdrop  Canham who appeared on the boundary and in the pub later knew which side of the rope he would rather have been !  

Man of Match:  James Stoddard

 

Anon (Bertie Kerr)